What in tha ruttin’ hell was
that an’ why did it jus’ try an’
eat me?

First of all..there’s a hell specifically for rutting? How does one get a ticket to rutting hell instead of regular hell? Secondly, that thing I just ashed was a vampire. It wants to eat you cause you’re full of delicious, tasty blood. Haven’t you ever watched tv before? 



I meant in a general sense,
okay TMI, dinnit need ta know t’at.


"I thought chicks were into manscaping? It’s not like I went full Brazilian or anything, just a little clean up aaaaaand this is still TMI territory for you, ain’t it? Let’s backtrack. Yes. Hell. Generally. Mhm. You’re very astute Miss…?



As tempted as he was to scream obscenities back at Hannibal’s cha-cha-slide line of angry drivers, he opened the door and hopped in, covering his ears as soon as he had the chance. “Fucking horns. How’re there not more dog-on-human fatalities in this city? My ears won’t quit ringing…” Aeson shook his head in an attempt to clear it, then settled back into the seat, breathing a sigh of relief as their pace picked up and the other cars stopped honking. “You know that haunted theater I mentioned a while back? Or maybe it was the haunted hotel. Anyway, I’m headed to the theater. 214 West 42nd. That on the way to wherever you’re going?”

"Because dogs are smarter than people." Left arm out his window, he flipped the bird to an old lady who had been behind them leaning on her horn and was now attempting to pass them in the next lane, speeding up so she couldn’t get by, weaving in and out of small gaps to get through the city back up despite his way too big car. "Yeah, I remember you talking about that place. It’s a few blocks thataway. You going there to un-haunt it?" A sharp left turn was taken despite not being in the left turn lane, only getting one honk this time. "I was just drivin’ around. It’s no big deal. Just enjoying the sunshine." 


"It makes me want hot chocolate."  Grinning, Alice tilted her head and traced Hannibal’s jawline with her fingertip.  "You don’t look forty with the beard, Han, but like this, I’d put you somewhere around thirty.”

Teeth playfully clicked at her finger, smirking and sticking his tongue out after. “How old did I look like with the beard then? If I didn’t look forty with it, but I look thirty now, I can only assume I looked like an old geezer with it. Just lie to me and tell me I’ll be young and handsome forever, Alice. That’s all I wanna hear.” 



"Okay, but if this gets weird, just remember – you offered." He pressed his lips to Hannibal’s jawline, sucking lightly for a moment before he pulled back, brows furrowed. "Smells… minty. And tastes like lotion. But it feels really smooth, like a baby’s ass, supposedly. – is my tongue supposed to be tingling, or should I grab an EpiPen?"

Hannibal held still as his friend’s lips touched smooth skin, fighting back the urge to ugly laugh. “That uh…wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. But it was a cute interpretation.” Grinning, he shook his head, fingers touching the spout Aeson had, tapping fingertips against it. “I used Alice’s moisturizer. It has ‘cool mint tingling technology’— whatever that is. Anyway I’m pretty sure they didn’t intend it to be uh…sucked off.” 


A shiver is repressed at his warm touch, Phi nipping is jaw before helping him remove his shirt. “Got it in one.” She grinned, nails dragging down his chest along his scars. “How did you think I found out about what she does?” Her low voice is slightly muffled against his skin as she leaves kisses down to his nipples, licking one while lightly twisting the other. “And its rubbing off, if you’re good I’ll show you.”

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